Nothing about this sounds like a good idea |
If lego flat bricks needed separating or sticky tape needed bifurcating, it was the endless utility of my mouth that was applied to the task.
Should a mysterious item be found on my plate, rather than slow down dining proceedings with a question it was always better to just lob it gob-wise and set what the result would be... even when it turned out to be a knob of butter.
And when given the natural beauty of the world in the form of flowers with names like butter cup or honey suckle, it was best to jump right to a taste test for me to determine how aptly applied were their monikers.
Or... sometimes I just liked to chew on a stalk of grass in a huck-fin kinda manner.
It was this foible of mine that lead to many breakthroughs in the science I like to call "Regret-ology."
A memorable example was the time I decided a dandelion stalk might be just as good as a long bit of grass as a whimsical thing to chew upon.
It was not.
It tasted like batteries and poison-lightning.
And so the field of regret got a new entry, and I gained a hard earned bonus to my IQ as I swore to never again let any tiny amount of dandelion cross my lips again.
But you've seen the picture so you know what this is foreshadowing, right?
Description:
So this lavender colored can is labeled all in English, so marks a new stage in my curious reviews... things I can dread without the aid of obfuscation and mystery.
It also claims English heritage and is canned in the UK, so I guess I have some where to write for a toxicology report as the poison contained with in start to take effect... It's nice to send letters.
Not a lot else to say... no suggestion of flavor, but then, to be fair, cola doesn't really have a tasters guide on the outside of it either... time to pop the tab.
First Contact:
So... Burdock's like a thistle right? That's bound to taste as welcoming as it feels. |
It smells like medicine.
I mean, lot's of things do, and I'm not opposed to the taste of a good cough syrup, and that is sort of what this smells like.
Its got an almost licorice/Irish moss aroma, and it smells sweet and it has that thick pungency you get off syrup.
More than anything I'm reminded of Ouzo or Sambuca... it has been a while since that stuff was big in my life... and of that time I only recall fire, home may Robby Williams undies and a lot of bodies of the very dead, or at least very drunk... I digress.
I think I will sip it, rather than take a slug.
How like Cola it looks, how like regret it smells. |
It is not poisonous or foul... but I will say there is plenty of things in the taste that diverge from the smell.
As it goes over the tongue its a bit like marzipan, but it has an almost citrus/orange-like after taste faintly hanging in there... I guess that is the plant part of it.
Its thinner than Coke, and any lingering carbonation seems very light.
I even did that fancy "suck air through your teeth move" I learned from my brother and his beer tasting skills! it frothed up a bit, and the foam gave it a push towards root beer flavor... and I love root beer!
So the final result is sweeter, marzipan-ish, root-beerish soda... that isn't overpowering and doesn't linger overly.
Okay then.
Summary:
If I was good at learning lessons, by now I should have picked up that a) foodstuffs that sound terrible seldom are to me (if they don't have heads) and b) I seem to enjoy pretty much every food I find (except tomatoes in their natural form.)
But I am, in many ways as dim and reckless as that little imbecile I once was, still stuffing my gob and poised on the brink of horrible awakening and regret.
Today, I once again staved off the inevitable horror and got another yummy treat instead.
I can't help but feel this winning streak will have to break at some point, but until then I'm going to finish off this refreshing Dandelion drink, happy in the knowledge that plants that taste like a man-o-war twerking on the tounge, can be tamed into perfectly normal purple cans of soda.
Cheers.
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